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May 12, 2008, 1:58 pm
Fools stand on their island of opportunities
and look toward another land. There is no other land; there
is no other life but this.
Thoreau
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Overcoming Inertia
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I've been coaching a long time. So - what's the single, hugely obvious reason why your life stays the way it is? INACTION You have to do stuff out there in the world, to make things happen in your life. So why - if you're so fed up with things the way they are - don't you act to change it? Well, that's easy, too. |
Moving The Elephant Low Confidence...Apathy...Procrastination...Defeatism...Low Self-Worth |
There are several reasons:
1. You are on the treadmill. Too busy working, earning, sleeping, spending, parenting, cooking, drinking, eating, TV watching, bitching, and so on. Your life fills up every available nook and cranny - you don't have any spare to make changes.
2. You may not know what you really want, so you can't act confidently to make the changes you're not sure you want.
3. You don't really believe you are worthy of a better life. Secretly, you know you're where you deserve to be. And those around you may re-enforce that view in subtle ways.
4. You don't have the tools and the skills at your disposal to make changes happen. You may be conflict-averse, confused, dis-organised and forgetful.
5. You're afraid of the consequences of big actions. Afraid they might fail - afraid they might not!
I've spoken before about how coaching helps on all these fronts, and I don't know of anything else that comes close to being as effective.
But here's a challenge for you. If you can meet this challenge - I promise that your life will get better...
Do Something Big & Scary Today!
Think back over the last week. What did you do to try to improve your life? I don't mean maintainence activities like housework or even decorating - I mean structural things that could permanently change your life for the better - like applying for a new job or researching something at the library.
Chances are your answer is "nothing". That's OK - don't feel bad, but recognise that this is where change isn't.
Now let's develop a scale for doing stuff.
First rule - thinking about things scores 0. It's not that it's worthless - it isn't - it's essential - but on the doing stuff scale, thinking scores zip. Things change out there - only when you do stuff.
At the lowest end, scoring 1, might be things like looking through the local paper for a new job. A 3-score might be having a difficult chat with your partner about what you would like to see changed. Each person's scale will be different, but at the top, scoring 10 would be something like resigning, selling the house and moving to Peru for a new life as a snake charmer.
Now your challenge is to promise yourself to do one thing each week which might cause a positive and permanent change in your life.
If you can do even tiny things - often - then the gains over time will be large. And - as you see that you have real ability to make things change, your confidence will grow and you will shoot for the higher scoring items. Before you know it, you'll have an avalanche of positivity on your hands.
Keep a diary of do stuff items along with the scores. Over time you can raise your weekly average. It's the cumulative efforts you invest will continue to deliver rewards in your newer, better, daily lives.
The bottom line is to act!