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May 12, 2008, 1:36 pm
An idea not coupled with action will never get any bigger than the brain cell it occupied. Arnold Glasgow |
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Life CoachingBuilding Focus, Energy & Courage - to Make a Better Life for You |
Finding Love, Relationships & Happiness
Especially around Valentines Day, coming home to an empty home or the lack of a loving partner each night after work can be a very lonely, frustrating and unhappy experience. There is no reason to believe that just hoping to meet that significant other is sufficient to cause it to happen. Some action is necessary.
Love is probably the thing humans desire most. It’s a two way process - we both need to receive and give love. Love can bring the greatest happiness and in the midst of some relationship problems the greatest sadness too.
This article will in part examine the area of romantic love and look at effective relationship advice.
Why do people want romantic love? The answer is we want the greatest happiness. We believe that in having a romantic partner we will be happy. But quite often that’s not the case. By looking for lasting happiness outside ourselves we will never find it. This is because we are looking to others or things outside of ourselves to base happiness on and unfortunately our relationships and feelings towards these and others towards us are inherently changeable.
Bearing that in mind, how do we find love?
Finding Love and Happiness
Initially, we need to become clear about a few things.
Ask yourself, what are the qualities you have or need
to acquire to make you lovable? If you don’t have these virtues,
study other people who have. Start acting as if you had these qualities
and they will become naturally easier to express.
Why would someone want to love you? What can you give your partner? A
better question to ask than what can I get out of this is what can I put
into this? What parts of myself can I emphasise and experience. Keeping
focussed on this especially in difficult times gives the relationship
an increased chance of success.
If you had a loving partner what would that give you? What is the purpose of it for you and what purpose would it serve someone to have you as a loving partner?
What are your values and ideals and how well are you living up to them?
The other person will never be able to live up to your idealised image of who they should be. Only you can live up to any idealised images you may have i.e. those of yourself.
Whilst you search for a partner, increase the love you have for yourself and thereby your happiness. There are a variety of additional coaching techniques we can use that are very effective for achieving this. This is the only love you can be sure will endure.
A truly happy person is one who takes his or her happiness from within and is happy whether in a relationship or not.
That said, loving relationships have many wonderful benefits and are potentially a great means of increasing our feeling of love and afford an excellent opportunity to grow.
So, how do we find a loving partner?
Finding a Loving Partner
You may be single for a variety of reasons:
- Not met the right person yet
- Lack confidence with the opposite or same sex
- Don’t feel attractive
- Fear being hurt (again)
Coaching can help to overcome these and other blocks, which are stopping you from attaining your desires. In coaching sessions we create both solutions to sweep away the blocks and an action plan to attain success.
For example we may work on your self-belief and identify negative beliefs concerning your attractiveness. We will work on overwriting these with positive empowering ones and fix these new beliefs in your subconscious mind to make them permanent.
Hot relationship tip:
A very effective and simple technique to use right now is to repeat the following frequently, do it aloud for an even more powerful effect. Something like (you choose the exact words) “I give thanks for having a wonderfully loving relationship in my life.” There are a couple of immediate benefits 1. It shifts you into a more positive receptive state and 2. It aligns your subconscious mind (one of your most powerful allies) with your desire and helps to bring this into your life.
In addition, we may work on building your self-confidence and love for yourself through exercises and strategies to attain greater mental discipline and emotional stability.
We can also create a plan of where to meet and how to have successful encounters with potential partners.
Space limitations mean this article must be a general guide only. Finding a romantic partner is often prone to difficulties and disappointments - which is why some of us don’t bother trying or settle for second best. Life coaching can help you to stay focused, resourceful and motivated through the frequently challenging process of finding and keeping your new love. Please feel free to contact me if you require any assistance on your quest.
 Joe Jimenez Coach |