"NORMS" are the way things generally are. The things we accept so completely, we don't even see them. Your mission is to learn to recognise your Norms then to question and change them for better ones. This is hard to do, which I'll illustrate through a little theatrical dialogue. I'll play the coach (I'll be taller, younger and maybe less gray for this production). And I'll also be you (but if you think I'm wearing THAT - you must be joking!). In playing you, I'll be the worst you I can think of. No offense.. Oh, and in an attempt to be entertaining, I've bent my character somewhat. I'm not really supercilious! OK, Let's call the production...

As You Like It?

Curtain rises

We're in a wood-paneled sitting room.
The lights are dimmed.
You are sitting opposite my desk in a comfy brown leather chair.
One of those thingies from the Sherlock Holmes era, with brass studs all over it.
(The chair - not you).
I'm sitting behind a leather-topped desk.
There's a green-shaded desk lamp to one side.
I'm thinking there's a stuffed animal in one corner.
Could be a bear. Maybe an ungulate skull...that's..probably not important right now.
There's a grandfather clock in the other corner - rhythmically marking
the passage of wisdom and happiness from coach to client in
affordable increments

OK You, we're going to expose your Norms...

[to audience, in a Frankie Howard voice] Oooh Errr, Missus

I want you to talk us through your last work day - last Friday.

What? How else am I going to get to work?
What - am I going to show up naked? Or wearing a crumpled dressing gown?

Reasonably.

So. Here are our first Norms of the day. Norms - meet You - You - meet some of your Norms.

You assume without question that the goal is to get in to work as late as possible because you don't get enough sleep.

You accept and expect that you will continue to get insufficient sleep.

You assume your morning routine is a necessary evil from which pleasure cannot be extracted.

Your focus - without design - is in pretending you're not in your present reality. Ideally you'd prefer to sleep through it, waking up fully clothed, ironed and scrubbed up at your desk at 09:01.

All of this comes from the overall rise and fall of the rest of your daily cycle.

NONE of this comes from any fundamental law of the universe or of how Humankind must spend their lives.

That's all I was after. You're in charge and you'll go to bed and get up whenever you like.
I just want you to see that these are NORMS and you can choose to change them if and when you want.

So let's look at stress at work.
What is the biggest source of stress?

Our character (You) is now in a "resourceful state". They're no longer arms-folded, declaring that every aspect of their existence is unavoidably miserable. They're seeing how NORMS are arbitrary - there to be seen and changed for the better, as they always have been - and always will be. From that point on, it's much easier.

And that's all I really wanted to get across here. It's a simple lesson, but it's hugely powerful because it is universally applicable. Choose almost any aspect of your existence, and you can find NORMS, then question them, then change them for the better.

Your relationship with your partner or family, your body shape, how you're planning to spend this Christmas, what you're going to do tonight at 8pm, and of course, how you spend each of your working days - all of these are up for re-NORMing.